Responsibilities, Blog Stalking, And a Really Embarrassing Story

A few years ago our entire team at work read "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham. The book provides a link to a survey you can take to "discover" or rather, put a name to, your top five strengths. If I remember correctly, Buckingham worked with the Gallup organization to develop this survey, and it's amazingly accurate (though you have to purchase a book to get the code to do the survey). One of my five strengths is "Responsibility." Long point short, responsibility means that I have that overwhelming sense of well, um, responsibility, to finish things I start (or something along those lines).

I don't know if there is a strength for committing to doing everything where there is a need. That didn't fall in my top five if there is. And if there is I'm not sure what they'd call it. And I'm thinking that may be a weakness rather than a strength. But whatever that is, I have that and Responsibility.

Which means if there's a sign-up sheet going around at work or at church and a lot of blanks left on it, I'll sign up. And then I'll stress about why I signed up and what I have to do and the fact that I don't have time to do it in the first place. But I will definitely not shirk those responsibilities because I committed and because no matter how hard I try I'm not very good at being irresponsible.

Which is probably part of why I'm doing a blog entry when I really don't have much to say. It's driving me nuts that I haven't posted since January 1. Oh, I have fleeting ideas and opinions and every now and then I'll get all fired up about something and think, "I'm going to blog about that!" but then I finish the laundry, cook dinner, put Hudson to bed, get ready for work the next day and then all my energy and passion fizzles and I just spend the evening reading your blogs and your friends blogs that you have on your blog roll.

Yes, I am a blog lurker (that, at least, was the proper term used when I took my "Blogs, Wikis, and Podcasts" master's level class at UCO about three years ago. Yes, there was a master's level class on blogs. But that was before blogs were as popular as they are today. Its also why this blog was born. And no, I'm still not crystal clear on what a Wiki is. But I do use Wikipedia a lot.). Anyhow, a lot of people use the term "blog stalker." I think that's a little harsh. Stalking sounds as if I'm feverishly waiting for strangers to update their blogs so I can read about their lives. Lurking just sound like, well, like I just happened to be online and see that you updated your blog and decided well, why not see what the [fill in complete strangers' names here] have been up to. (And according to my prof, if you read a blog but never post a comment, your a blog lurker.)

I do slightly fear how I might react if I run into the real life people whose blogs I regularly read, say, in Wal-Mart. Staring at this family thinking, wow, they look realllly familiar, and then realize it's because I've read every online update about them for the past year and they have no earthly idea who I am! Or do I introduce myself?

"Hi! You have no idea who I am, but my name is Julie and I just love your blog! I found it one day when I was reading a friend's blog and they have your blog listed on theirs, so I just started reading it and I haven't quit since! You have the cutest family! I just loved that post about little Jimmy losing his first tooth! And that Sally, she's a doll! Oh, and I was so sad to hear about your great aunt. She sounded like such a nice lady. So, are you guys gonna take that trip to Disney World that you've been talking about? I think you should do it...And don't forget to post tons of pics!"

No, of course I wouldn't do that. Because then the next time I would go to read their blog it would be set to private, and then I'd have to start all over with a new family.

Plus, I learned my lesson about boundaries and complete strangers a long time ago. My cousin Jessica just loves to tell the story (at least twice a year) about the time we were at church camp and we were sitting behind Jon (her future hubby) and his then church-camp girlfriend who had, as I remember it, the prettiest, shiniest, thickest, longest hair. I don't know if it was the 110 degree heat or that euphoria that you get at church camp, but I guess I thought it would perfectly logical to just reach up and touch her hair. Of course Miss Church Camp Cutie turned around to see what little sea urchin had just touched her shiny mane, and, according to Jessica, I said something along the lines of "You have the prettiest hair. I just had to touch it." I'll have to rely that Jessica's telling the truth about this story because for some odd reason I think my subconscious has blocked it out.

Anyhow, apparently the girl looked at me like I was a weirdo - can't imagine why - and I learned the valuable life lesson that some lines just shouldn't be crossed. And if someone has a really great blog or a really interesting family or maybe just really pretty hair - you should admire it from afar. Really far.

Preferably online.

PS - And speaking of reading others' blogs, I updated my blog roll (to the left) for the first time since taking my blogging class. If you'd prefer complete strangers not begin lurking on your blog, please let me know and I'll remove you from my list.